Wednesday 26 June 2013

Ranty time

Blogger and Google have decided that from the 30th June2013 adult content and adverts to adult sites will be removed.

A lot of bloggers will be affected and like many of them I am moving to my own site. I am not sure how long it will take and I know that the self hosting option is going to cause some very adult language but this is the only way I can see my journey continuing on the internet.

New site will be at ghostgirl2001com.

xGGx

Sunday 23 June 2013

Of Cysts and Surgery



For a long time I have advocated women checking their breasts regularly. I have even been know to get mine out to get the message across.




Check your boobs, the earlier lumps are found the better your chances of treatment being successful. If you do not know how make an appointment with the nurse at your local surgery and ask them to show you.





check your boobs every month




I do and earlier this year I experienced the fear that thousands do every year. I found a lump, distinct, moving under pressure lump. Within 2 days I was stood in the GP's surgery being told it was abnormal and I was being referred to the Fast Track breast care service. Two weeks of worry, two weeks of wondering what was going to happen to me and my children.

I was due to visit the hospital on the Monday afternoon, on Friday evening my cat, constant companion since she arrived in my life as an 8 week old kitten too young to be away from mum, wobbled and lost her footing on flat ground, then she peed on the floor. I had to accept that after 18 years the time had come to say goodbye. She had the weekend with us, getting lots of fuss.

Monday morning she and I made the trip to the vets, she was wrapped in a blanker fed fish and given the injection which ended her pain and released her from the suffering. I took her home and she is now at rest in a sunny part of the garden.




Then I was getting my boobs out to have a mammogram.




For those who have not had the pleasure it is uncomfortable but not painful. one breast at a time is compressed between 2 plates so an x-ray can be taken. Then on to ultra sound, the Doctor was lovely, she carefully scanned the affected breast. There on the screen in front of me were 2 clear dark voids that shouldn't have been there. I was lucky they were cysts, one was drained there and then but the other was out of reach. friday I did another check and have discovered that the cyst is once again at the surface tomorrow I go back to the doctor.



I healed quickly but still wasn't feeling right, I was tired and had sharp stomach pains. The kind that have you doubled up unable to do anything until it passed. I ignored it, I was too busy with life to take time out. In the end I had no choice, a ride in an ambulance ended in A&E. I was poked, prodded, stabbed with needles and had a cannula inserted by a medical student. Tests showed that I had an inflamed gallbladder.

Overnight admission and I was expecting to go home the next day, didn't happen. A porter appeared with a wheel chair to take me for an ultra sound. I felt every bump and jolt, by the time he parked me in the waiting area I was almost in tears. Staff from there immediately transferred me to a trolley.

People moan about the NHS and how long they have to wait, I was there less than 5 minutes before being taken to a scan room. I don't remember much more til I got back to the ward, as I was being transferred from trolley to bed a senior doctor stuck his head round the corner and very cheerfully announced 'I think we will have that out'.

He did, within a few hours I was in theatre, parting company with a very septic gallbladder which was on the verge of bursting.



I am still recovering but I have learned a valuable lesson, I am no good to anyone else if I am sick. Taking care of me isn't selfish - it is in every member of my family's interest that I am well enough to do all the things I normally do.



xGGx



 


Saturday 22 June 2013

A Rant - but close to my heart...

Defending the rights of women to determine their own destiny. I chose to continue a pregnancy with was only going to end in tears. But I had a choice, I could have legally had a late termination. I will stand and defend the rights of any woman to make that same choice for herself.

Abortion needs to be available to those who need it.
Richard Carvath aims to take that right away from all women, he sees no difference between a woman for whom contraception has failed, a woman coming to terms with the news her unborn baby is dying inside her, a woman who is carrying a child who is very disabled or a woman who is pregnant as the result of rape.

Expecting a rape victim to continue with a pregnancy is inhumane, it serves only to prolong her violation.

The society he seeks to build will put women back into the position of being 2nd class citizens, of being without rights over their own bodies.

We will have a 2 tier system of health care for women, those who can afford to find good medical care underground or go abroad for help and those who, out of desperation, risk their lives or future fertility by having a back street abortion. A return to unsanitary conditions and women dying needlessly.


How many more films like Vera Drake will it take for us to remember the horriffic butchery that passed for medical care prior to abortion being legalised for all, not just the wealthy who could pull strings and make their 'problems' vanish into thin air?

Saturday 12 January 2013

Very short post, I have just sat and read the most amazing parenting blog, Raising My Rainbow and had to share.

Huge amount of respect for a family who accept and nuture a creative gender child. As a mum I know how hard it is to raise a child who is different in some way. As a family we are trying to get my eldest assessed and recognised as being 'on the spectrum'. The Autistic Spectrum. The difficulty comes from her being the 'wrong' gender to have ASD in any form.

Friday 11 January 2013

Doc Johnson Wonderland Pleasurepillar 10 Function Silicone Vibrator


I was sent this as a tester by Lovehoney and would normally write a review quickly but this one had me puzzled.


The Alice in Wonderland themed packaging is lovely.  For a company which usually uses cheap looking plastic it was a revelation. The box looks very much like a book, making this a great idea for a gift.

On opening the colour is fantastic. I dislike pink toys and this is an unusual and intense colour.


From there it went downhill and very quickly. The vibrations are too weak for me and the shape was wrong. The Pleasurepillar wouldn't and couldn't hit my G-spot if it had a target painted on it. I have tried this twice and both times I got so frustrated by the weak vibrations I have given up on it and reached for an alternative.


Cleaning the Pleasurepillar is not as easy as it could be. The bumps in the vibe needed careful attention to get them clean, I would be concerned about anything lurking in the grooves after cleaning.


Overall concept and colour are great but form and function let this vibe down badly.

Not a toy I would recommend.

xGGx
Getting back into the  swing of things.

The tail end of 2012 has been a long spiral downwards for me, in November I hit rock bottom. Very few friends and none of my extended family know but I got caught lining up an attempt to end things. I was found with a pile of pills, some say suicide is a selfish act and in some ways it is: you are not thinking of others and the effect you will have on their lives. You are not thinking at all.

There was a black hole into which I had fallen and couldn't climb out of, every effort resulted in the sides crumbling away.

I am lucky I have a supportive partner, who understands and didn't read the riot act along with a new GP who listens. The start of 2013 has been a more positive one with effective antidepressants leveling my moods. Unfortunately they have stopped my sex drive in its tracks.

I am getting back to being me, taking time out for me. Spending time with the people who are important to me. I have written my first review in six months, it was a tough one to write but I found enjoyment in writing again.

So watch out world GG is back.

xGGx

Sunday 22 July 2012

It has been a while since I posted on here. Why? Well sometimes you just have to get on with life and there is no time for anything else.

I feel like I am loosing one of the most important people in my life. You only get one Mum and mine isn't doing so good. The woman who has been my rock through good and bad is getting forgetful and aggressive. Getting her to admit that she has a problem and needs to see her GP is a battle I am loosing. 

The thing is I know, my Dad knows and the GP knows that something is wrong. Mum knows something is wrong but no one wants to use the D word. Dementia. Early onset Dementia. There said it, got it out but still have no idea how I tell the smart woman who raised me and supported me through the worst times in my life that she is likely to forget who I am. I have been down this path before, a Grand mother who couldn't remember any of us. That was hard enough but this is tearing me apart.

The stress of dealing with the issue is having an effect on the rest of my life, on my children and on my sex life. I have to be grateful that I have a partner who understands even makes light of it. British black humour at   it's best. 

So if I go quiet it is not because I am bored of blogging, not because I have run out of things to say. My journey continues but at a different pace and sometimes the route changes and we take a detour.

xGGx