If you could go back and do it all again.

Inspired by a forum post.

 Dear 16 year old self,

Life seems kind of tough right now but keep going, The things which life throws at you will make you a stronger, better person. It turns you into a woman who is independent, smart, hardworking, fun and sexy. All the things that you admire, in the popular girls, but don't yet see in yourself.

Take the opportunities which come your way, the crap jobs, the crap relationship (walk away from that one when the time comes with no regrets and your head held high, it was the right choice to make and he finds his soul mate in someone else). You will be alone and lonely for a while but he would have stifled you. Holding on to you too tightly, like holding a butterfly it damages your wings. Without him you fly again.

These experiences prepare you for the hardest journey you will ever take.

For becoming a Mum to an angel, for becoming a Mum to 2 survivors, for loving and losing the man you thought you would grow old with. The choices you make for him earn you the respect you don't feel you will ever get. Even Dad eventually has to express some parental pride and makes it clear he respects the way you made the hardest of choices. Don't be afraid of those choices, everything you do is done in his best interests. Stand your ground about taking the children to see him in hospital, they will barely remember him in a few short years so every memory is precious to them.

That part of your journey is hard and you will fall apart afterwards.

You do pick yourself up and with that comes a man who will finally bring out the best in you, who makes you feel special and sexy. Who gives you the confidence to finally overcome the body image issues you have now. Who will take the naughty pictures you post on line. The man who introduces you to the kinky side of you that you hadn't seen up until then. He has his faults, but embrace them, they are part of what makes him special to you.

You will come to a place where you like yourself.

oh and teaching isn't for you but enjoy University it teaches you a lot about people.

With love your 42 year old self

So with appologies to Hinder

Go for it
Run toward it
Dive in head first
Live life with no regret
Put your heart out there
Don't be scared you might get hurt
But it's all worth it in the end
Cause the best is yet to come (Yeah yeah)

 xGGx