A Band of Gold

One of the questions no one ever asks is 'Why I stopped wearing my wedding ring? Or rather why I stopped wearing it so soon after being widowed?

Becoming a widow before I got to 40 had the most unimaginable effect on my life, even though it was expected and we had time to talk about what would happen after he had gone. 

I thought hard about what to do with the ring, a symbol of marriage. Now redundant but not meaningless. Do I continue to wear it? Knowing that at some point in the future I will want to move on and rebuild a new life, maybe with someone new. My decision was to put it away with his. 

I felt naked for a few months, painfully awate that something was missing. Something that had been part of me of 13 years but that feeling eventually gave way to a freedom. I was a single lady again. Depression may have been a long term visitor to my life but move on I did.

I would like to think he would have been proud of me, for building a different life, not just for myself but for our children. I know that with the benefit of hindsight I might have done some things a little differently, but loss has taught me that life it too short and too precious to waste on regrets. Looking backwards doesn't help you to move forwards. And that is the direction I am travelling in.

xGGx

Turn

So what turns a respectable lady into a slightly kinky tart, his word not mine.

I was lonely and very very down, mourning the death of a husband, raising 2 children alone without support from family. A friend suggested internet dating. When I finished laughing at her I realised that she had a point. The web could be used to weed out all the weirdos and the 'not a fucking chance mate' types.

I met someone, slightly younger than me, which caused raised eyebrows and mutterings. Very different to me, a bad boy with a kinky streak like I hadn't encountered before. For the first time in my life sex became something fun, something I wanted rather than something I did because it was expected of me.

I found a soul mate, we  exchanged confessions online, he admitted to having a thing about feet. I had to admit to having a toy box. We exchanged confessions in person. The chemistry between us was there from the first face to face meeting.

Over a few weeks he introduced me to the delights of receiving foot worship. Sounds trivial but I have always hated having my feet touched. Yet here I was not only allowing him to lick and suck my toes but enjoying it. Together we have found a new freedom, he knows he can be honest with me and not face 'that's disgusting' or 'pervert' type reactions and Me? I have found the freedom to enjoy the pleasure of sharing my body, the freedom to talk about sex and the freedom to push my own bounderies.

So what turned me?

Finally finding the man who was up to the task.

Well as the saying goes a little confession is good for the soul..so here is mine.

I love shoes, I collect shoes and as a habit it is starting to get out of hand.
This is what happens when a shoe lover and a foot fetishist live together.

A little confession is good for the soul....

My GO TO RO 140

 The RO bullets come packed in minimalist tubes which are perfect for storage, no bulky excess packaging to get rid of and no wasted space within the package which helps keep the toybox tidy.

 I was curious when I saw these as I have never used a soft tip vibe but already own a RO-80 and RO-120 both of which I love. This bullet looks more like a piece of military hardware than its little relatives with the black tip contrasting with the sleek smooth silver. It looks quite masculine which for me is vital as it is used solo and by my partner on me. Neither of us likes pink and girly toys.

The bullet comes complete with batteries and ready to go, which is a big plus point the downside is it takes 2 N batteries, I would prefer standard AA or AAA as I have a stash of rechargables which I use for toys.
The vibrations on this are amazing, mind blowingly strong and thats just the first 2 speeds didn't get to top speed. It wasn't needed. I don't like very intense and direct clitoral stimulation but even with it working around the clitoral area the strength of the vibrations was intense enough to get me off very quickly.

It was very easy to clean and popped back in its tube til next time. Have a feeling it is going to get a lot of use.
I was right this has become a go to toy for guaranteed results.
If you are looking for something quiet, powerful and sleek then I would recommend this bullet.

Swoon Release

Opened the box really wanting to love it. The wand is smooth white silicone. It feels warm to the touch with a firm but flexible texture.


The wand takes 2 AAA batteries and full marks for these being included. The control is a simple push button on the end of the wand and cycles through the 7 modes, 3 speeds and 4 patterns of vibrations so there will be one to suit most needs and moods. Once turned on the wand is a little noisy at high speed but muffleable by the duvet should discretion be important.


I was a little disappointed with the performance. For me there was not quite enough power in the vibrations. It was enough to take me to the edge but not to take me over it. However that might just be me and maybe someone who prefers less power would love this wand.


The packaging is very retro with no pornstar-type pictures, more reminisant of 40s pin ups. The box also contains a decent quality drawstring storage bag to keep the wand clean and safe.

First Steps . . .

My first steps away from the vanilla, good girl took place in daylight, a secluded car park in the countryside.  Playing with the fear or thrill of being caught. It must have been more the thrill as we both jumped when a very large cow came out of the trees towards the car but carried on.

Hearing cars pass along the road, just the other side of a few trees and knowing that any second one might pull in and discover our secret makes your heart pound a little faster. It adds to the urgency. The racing pulse of desire.

Driving back along familiar roads to do the school run with the dampness to remind me of the stolen moments we had enjoyed.  Trying not to smile too broadly, wouldn't want the school gate brigade asking questions.

I miss those naughty trips, we don't seem to do them any more. Maybe when the weather improves I need to get the picnic rug out.

Doc Johnson Rock Star Vibe - Janis

This came to me as a tester item, thank you Cara.

The Doc Johnson Rock Star Vibe - Janis is very pink and made me think more of pop princess than rock star but you cannot judge a book by it's cover so I have put this through a proper testing.

The silicone shaft is very soft and warm to the touch, it is also quite flexible. Not flexible enough for me to find my G spot though but then I have not yet found a toy that does. The vibrations on this are not the strongest I have felt but are enough to achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation.

On the plus side the shape of the end made it easy to hold on to and move to the right places, even when coated in lube. The speed control is simple to use.

Janis cleaned easily, even the textured silver coloured part and the joins presented no problems.

The packaging is a simple plastic pack which is a little garish but ok for keeping the vibe in safely.

Overall this was an OK vibe. If you prefer less direct stimulation then the shape of this would suit you.

Wow cannot believe I am doing this, me a complete technophobe writing my own blog. This is just another step on the journey through life which ever changing. 18 months ago I was alone, vanilla and lonely. I had bought my first toy but not had the confidence to 'confess' to owning a vibrator.

I grew up in a very straight laced home where sex wasn't talked about, school only cover the biology of procreation and everything else was learnt in the playground. I guess I have always been a slow starter, but I am making up for it now and loving life.

xGGx

Pjur Woman Moisterising Toy Lube

I have used lubes but until now had not found one which would make me a loyal user. Pjur Woman Toy Lube has changed that.

The bottle has an easy to use pump top which gives a measured dose of lube - no squirting the stuff across the bed, the floor or anywhere but where you want it. This goes exactly where you aim.

The lube itself is almost colourless, has no smell and although it is not designed for oral, I have taste tested it. There is no taste so if a session includes oral you wouldn't have to change lubes.


I have sensitive skin so the first test is always a patch test on my wrist. This passed with flying colours - no adverse reaction and it left my skin feeling soft but not greasy.


I have used this with a rabbit and a glass toy and both performed well with it. It didn't need reapplication and cleaning up was easy.

I love the fact it is safe to use with silicone toys, condoms and won't damage latex clothing if things get messy, and lets be honest good sex often gets that way.

Pjur Toy Lube is a nastie-free zone, easy to use, thick, creamy, non-greasy and it works.

Overall I was impressed and would recommend this lube.