It has been a while since I posted on here. Why? Well sometimes you just have to get on with life and there is no time for anything else.

I feel like I am loosing one of the most important people in my life. You only get one Mum and mine isn't doing so good. The woman who has been my rock through good and bad is getting forgetful and aggressive. Getting her to admit that she has a problem and needs to see her GP is a battle I am loosing. 

The thing is I know, my Dad knows and the GP knows that something is wrong. Mum knows something is wrong but no one wants to use the D word. Dementia. Early onset Dementia. There said it, got it out but still have no idea how I tell the smart woman who raised me and supported me through the worst times in my life that she is likely to forget who I am. I have been down this path before, a Grand mother who couldn't remember any of us. That was hard enough but this is tearing me apart.

The stress of dealing with the issue is having an effect on the rest of my life, on my children and on my sex life. I have to be grateful that I have a partner who understands even makes light of it. British black humour at   it's best. 

So if I go quiet it is not because I am bored of blogging, not because I have run out of things to say. My journey continues but at a different pace and sometimes the route changes and we take a detour.

xGGx 

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Seven Creations - Lust fingers.

This is the first time I have written a totally negative review, no apology for doing so now. I purchase these because sometimes fingers are not enough but I am not in the mood for a toy. 

The packaging is a basic card and plastic blister pack, no problems there and no graphic porn star like pictures to put you off. Once you open it the problems hit you in the nose. Quite literally. These things stink. I washed them and left to air dry. The bathroom stank of a sharp chemically smell. I left them longer but even after a couple of weeks the smell was unbearable.

Getting past the smell issue, if these were designed for a woman's hands then the design team need to get their measuring sticks out. They are way too big for my fingers both in length and internal diameter. There is a lot of wiggle room, as in easily falling off.

Texture wise, the purple bumpy one is hard against the skin on my wrist, too harsh to be comfortable, the pink ribbed one feels softer. I cannot tell you how they feel in use because there is no way they are coming into contact with my clit.

Overall I hated the colour, texture, size and smell. This product has no redeeming features. 

Chilling Out 

The amazing Nymphomaniac Nes has launched Toy With Me Tuesday. A fun way to get creative and explore the imagery around sex toys.

So here is mine, a favourite toy chilling out ready to send delicious shivers down my spine and make me shudder.

The toy is Lovehoney Ribbed Orgasmic Glass Dildo 8 Inch

See who else has contributed

Her Majazzle Diamante Jubilee Crown Jewels

I know that the Majazzle has had some stick in the press for 'cheapening' the jubilee celebrations but I wanted something jubilee themed both for a Sinful Sunday entry and for a change of Twitter avatar - in support of @feelemfriday.  This seemed to fit the bill.


The Majazzle is 4cm x 4.5cm so small enough to be discreet but large enough to be seen and get attention when you want it. The packaging is basic and Britannia themed, the instructions included are clear and easy to follow.



Your skin needs to be clean and dry so after a shower it was, but before any body lotion. The glue won't stick if you do. The design of the Majazzle means it has to be slowly peeled from the backing. It came off in one piece, applying it was surprisingly easy. Just put into place and press down with the backing sheet for 10 seconds. Mine has survived a day out, a photo session and the attention it got from the OH.



I deliberately didn't place this on my pubis mound, for 2 reasons. Firstly I wanted a boob shot for the photos and secondly I would be genuinely concerned about the gems irritating my skin. I have sensitive skin which sometimes reacts badly to shaving and having gems glued on shaven skin would worry me. I was right to be concerned, when I removed the majazzle after 24 hours I has a crown shape of tiny red dots on my boob. These faded quickly but the skin was irritated for a while.


Overall I am happy with this, it is fun, flirty and easy to use.

Sinful Sunday - A Boobilee

This weekend Sinful Sunday and the Twitter based campaign to raise breast cancer awareness, @feelemfriday are using the same theme. I wanted to create an image I could use for both.

For me Sinful Sunday is a fun way to raise my self confidence, while FeelemFriday is a serious attempt to get men and women to check themselves for changes, so many people miss the message in the official campaigns run by cancer charities that if the Feelem team get just one person, male or female, to check themselves in time to seek treatment it be a success.

See who else is playing this week

The Happy Rabbit Natural

I won the Happy Rabbit Natural on a Twitter give away, it arrived quickly as is normal for Lovehoney.

The Happy Rabbit comes in a slip cover over a tasteful and classy black box. There is nothing on the inside box which screams sex toy so it is perfect for storing your new best friend. Inside the rabbit and charger nestle in a plastic insert along with a high quality drawstring storage bag.

The Happy Rabbit needs 6 hours of charge before first use but there were no flashing lights just a discrete light at the base which changes to green for go when fully charged.

The controls on the rabbit are simple big button for the shaft, little button for the clit stim. I own other rabbits and I like them however I was glad to see the end of the pearls inside the rotating shaft design. For two reasons: firstly the noise levels are usually high secondly and most important I find the rotation unpleasantly uncomfortable.

Happy Rabbit has no pearls and is very quiet in use, I made more noise than the toy. This rabbit takes solo pleasure to a whole new level for me. I used just a little Pjure Woman Toy Lube, the shaft was easy to insert and the ears hit the correct spot, no more having to trim the ears because they are too long and miss. The three motors in this toy are powerful and quiet, within minutes I was on my knees and orgasming.

Cleaning was easy, the toy is splashproof so can be cleaned with soap and water. While cleaning I did notice a seam in the silicone shaft of the rabbit but hadn’t noticed it in use so  feel sure it isn’t a problem.

I would recommend this rabbit to any woman, regardless of their experience with sextoys.

xGGx

PicoBong Koa

This was sent to me as a tester by Lovehoney


This vibe is very small and the quietest I have used. Running on the highest speed in the bedroom it couldn't be heard from the ensuite. Perfect if you share a house or live with nosey relatives.

Originally when I tried it my initial reaction was that the vibrations were strong with a good range of patterns so there would be one to suit most women. However on further testing, although not too many times I have been frustrated at the lack of power and needed to change to another bullet to finish the job.

The smooth curved end makes a great handle, so even when well lubed you can keep a good grip.

The Koa is advertised as a couples toy. We didn't test it as such mainly because the curved plastic end has very little give in it and is not particularly large. I am not sure that it would make a comfortable cock ring for anyone of average girth and to be brutally honest there was no way I was going to inflict that on my partner.


The packaging was also a let down. Priced at almost £30 I would expect a storage bag or at the very least a  box that I could keep in order to store the toy. The box split when I opened it and the vibe is held in place with a small card insert which I couldn't reuse to store the toy.


Overall the Koa is a weak clitoral vibe although almost silent, but it is fiddly to use, the control buttons are hiden in the name and with lots of lube on it are difficult to find and push. The other big issue I had was that I found it difficult to clean due to the embossed PicoBong name on the silicone part. Time to get graphic, the embossed area attracts cum and lube, if the toy isn't cleaned immediately it dries into the embossing. As someone who likes to go to sleep after a good orgasm I need toys that are easy to clean when things have dried on them. This isn't.


For the new range from Lelo I have to say I expected a lot more and was a little disappointed.

xGGx

Rene Rofe Crotchless Lace French Knickers with Ribbon Ties

These arrived quickly after being ordered, as is normal for Lovehoney. The packaging is simple throwaway plastic, nothing to embarrass you if the dustmen see it.

 First impressions: I loved the fabric and the way it felt, wasn't sure about the ribbon ties. The way they join the fabric didn't look very strong. They fitted well and for me the sizing was right.

Wore these on a trip to see BF, they were comfortable and easy to forget that they were 'naughty' knickers, even during a 20 minute drive. It took him a while to realise what these were but the look on his face was worth the cost of buying them. Oh and the ribbon ties held up to a long session so no worries about them for next time.

The knickers were washed by hand and have washed well, which is always worth considering when spending £10.99 on a pair.

Overall I would recommend these as a first pair of crotchless knickers.

xGGx

Sinful Sunday


His  Princess

 Put upon a pedestal
waiting to be worshipped
My toes at the level

for a kneeling man's nose

Don't look up

'til given permission

worship my feet

in your submission

See who else is playing Sinful Sunday

I am going to steal another song lyric and apologise to another band. Sorry Tesla.

Now, if you can imagine this, the whole world sharing one big kiss
These are thoughts all through my brain, that I daydream everyday
That I'm alive and well, and right now, I'm alive, I'm feeling...well
It's my life to live my way, so I'll keep daydreaming away
And who knows, maybe someday, it will all come true
And I will get my way, and we will live as one

I remember how frustrating it was as a mature single woman trying to buy my first sex toy. I didn’t have any friends I could discuss it with and had no idea of where to start. Like I usually do when I am stuck I turned to the internet.

I was still confused, bewildered at the choice and truth be told embarrassed that this is what I was resorting to. I finally chose a rabbit, the Rampant Rabbit Aqua, with it an RO 80 bullet.

The rabbit was a disappointment and rarely sees the light of day.  The bullet died from overuse but has been replaced by another and several of the larger RO bullets.  Given the fact that this rabbit really didn’t do it for me I might have given up, but then I found a website where products are reviewed honestly by customers. All reviews seem to make it onto the site, even the negative ones.

I spent time reading before I spent any more money. Reading the reviews was a revelation. I no longer felt a freak for needing to use sextoys even when I met my partner they stayed as part of our sexual experience. I started to add some of my own reviews, as my collection grew so did my confidence.

When I started my blog I made a very deliberate decision to mix posts about me, my life and my experiences with reviews of sextoys and lingerie. The reason, if it helps just one person to find the right toy for them then it was worth it. Giving one woman the information and advice with which to improve their sexlife

xGGx

Her eyelids flicker as she wakes

The sunbeams dance around her

Lazily she reaches a hand down

Her fingers start to work

As they do she opens her eyes

The sunbeams dancing through soapy water

Jolt her awake

She grabs the sheet to cover her nakedness

Too late he has seen all

xGGx

If you could go back and do it all again.

Inspired by a forum post.

 Dear 16 year old self,

Life seems kind of tough right now but keep going, The things which life throws at you will make you a stronger, better person. It turns you into a woman who is independent, smart, hardworking, fun and sexy. All the things that you admire, in the popular girls, but don't yet see in yourself.

Take the opportunities which come your way, the crap jobs, the crap relationship (walk away from that one when the time comes with no regrets and your head held high, it was the right choice to make and he finds his soul mate in someone else). You will be alone and lonely for a while but he would have stifled you. Holding on to you too tightly, like holding a butterfly it damages your wings. Without him you fly again.

These experiences prepare you for the hardest journey you will ever take.

For becoming a Mum to an angel, for becoming a Mum to 2 survivors, for loving and losing the man you thought you would grow old with. The choices you make for him earn you the respect you don't feel you will ever get. Even Dad eventually has to express some parental pride and makes it clear he respects the way you made the hardest of choices. Don't be afraid of those choices, everything you do is done in his best interests. Stand your ground about taking the children to see him in hospital, they will barely remember him in a few short years so every memory is precious to them.

That part of your journey is hard and you will fall apart afterwards.

You do pick yourself up and with that comes a man who will finally bring out the best in you, who makes you feel special and sexy. Who gives you the confidence to finally overcome the body image issues you have now. Who will take the naughty pictures you post on line. The man who introduces you to the kinky side of you that you hadn't seen up until then. He has his faults, but embrace them, they are part of what makes him special to you.

You will come to a place where you like yourself.

oh and teaching isn't for you but enjoy University it teaches you a lot about people.

With love your 42 year old self

So with appologies to Hinder

Go for it
Run toward it
Dive in head first
Live life with no regret
Put your heart out there
Don't be scared you might get hurt
But it's all worth it in the end
Cause the best is yet to come (Yeah yeah)

 xGGx

Finding a soul mate.... 

I was alone and lonely, then a friend laughingly suggested online dating. I signed up to OkCupid all the while thinking that it was a major waste of time. For anyone not familiar with the site they ask loads of questions about all sorts of things: relationships, religion, sex and politics then they calculate your compatibility with other people on the site.

I looked at profiles of guys who were 85%+ matches and felt – nothing. I got my share of emails, most made me chuckle. Did I want to be a sub in a s/D relationship? Argh no, I was vanilla although that wasn’t a phrase I was familiar with at the time. A 22yr old who wanted no strings sex, I did think about it but too far to travel and truth be told not what I was looking for. I also got the male version of the girls from the old Soviet Union wanting a visa, only these all seemed to be from Morocco or Algeria.

Then I got a message from a guy, younger than I was looking for and with a compatibility rating of 35%, according to the site we had nothing in common. Yet from the start we clicked, online and when we finally got to meet the chemistry was instant, overpowering and unquestionable.

I quickly put aside old habits and what followed was great sex and the first steps down the road to kinkdom. Within a few months he had moved in and my journey continues.

From the outside looking in we shouldn’t work. We are so different yet for the things that matter we think the same. We find the same things funny, like the same music, watch the same movies and have the same open minded view of life.

One thing he has taught me is not to judge other peoples’ relationships no one has the right to do that. We cannot help who we are or who we fall for.

 xGGx

Half my collection:

not too bad for someone who only bought her first toy 2 years ago

xGGx

The Face of a Woman

I overhead a bit of a spat today, the cause unimportant, the insult thrown was 'two faced'. A common enough expression but it made me think. How many faces does a woman have?

Me? I have many, every role I play in this life has a face and I play many, from being a daughter and sister to wife then widow now lover. From Mother to business woman, the friend who shares a joke over lunch to the friend who keeps your secrets.

Like so many women I have many layers, peel them back like an onion and I will make you cry. But I will also make you laugh. The layers make us interesting, without them we are characterless, bland and uninteresting; a single dimensional image without substance or intrigue.

Which would you rather spend time with?

Me, I will happily be the saint in the kitchen and the sinner in the privacy of our own space.

So the next time someone calls me two faced I will smile and acknowledge that at least they got that right.



xGGx

A Reflective Birthday Post

Birthdays are usually a time of excitement and joy, of coming together to celebrate; especially true when it is a child’s birthday.

Tomorrow will be my son’s 10^th birthday. There will be no balloons, no banners announcing the celebration to the world. No candles sat smoking on a cake. No wrapped gifts waiting to be torn open. More touching there will be no smiles and laughter in the house.

Like 17 women every day in the UK I gave birth to an Angel Baby. My tiny bundle, much loved and long awaited never took a breath. I left the hospital empty and empty handed. Tomorrow I will take his sisters to place roses on his grave. They are too young to understand the pain of loss but their short lives have been touched by it in too many ways. From their brother’s grave they will walk with me to lay the rest of our flowers on their Father’s ‘special place’ – with them I never use the words cemetery or grave.

The one thing I learnt from experience of still birth was how scared people are to talk about death. Children aren’t meant to die and so many people will avoid talking about the subject. I had people cross the road to avoid having to speak to me, the look of horror on faces when the question “What did you have?”  brought the tearful response “ a boy but he didn’t make it”.

If you know the parents of an Angel please don’t be scared, it isn’t catching and tears do not scar. Say hello, ask how they are, above all remember they are normal. Just  going through the toughest of times.

xGGX

Pink Lipstick Nothing But Net Seamless Dress

This was sent to me as a tester from Lovehoney, thank you Alice.

It arrived in a box bearing the photo of a tall, slender, young, blonde woman with ample boobage (as the product page also features). Talk about making a girl feel inadequate. I am none of those things and after taking the dress out of the box I hesitated about trying it on. Hesitated might be the wrong word, it took over a week for me to pluck up the courage to see if I could actually get into it.

The thing is this dress is tiny, imagine a pair of fishnet tights and you have the scale of my predicament. The box states it fits most sizes, I am currently a UK 16 and to my surprise this did fit. It clings to your curves and even with a baby belly that never went away this made me feel fabulous and sexy. The dress is shown as being worn off the shoulders however I am only 5'3" so the only way to get the sleeves to sit right was to forgo the off the shoulder look.

Overall, I loved the way this dress made me look and feel, for someone who has always had body image issues that statement does not come easy. Would I have paid £28.99 for it? Probably not but I would have missed out on an outfit which could easily become a favourite way of letting the OH know that he is about to be used and abused.

Sinful Sunday or why the image really counts....

I grew up in a straight laced environment which was also full of negativity. You know the type of family which compares the achievements and character traits of the children. Well I wasn't the smartest, most athletic or popular of the three of us, but I did have the distinction of being the podgiest.

 Hearing your mother constantly telling you that you are fat makes you believe that you are. At school I was on the edge, not one of the super nerds and very definitely not one of the popular girls. I know that I was slightly overweight, something I seem to have spent most of my life battling with, but I felt that I was also ugly and unfanciable.

That feeling stays with you, as a married woman I still didn't feel attractive. I never wear shorts and rarely go swimming or to the beach. I fear the prickles of all those judgemental eyes burning into my skin.

It wasn't until I met my current partner that some of those body image issues started to take a back seat. He loves the baby belly, 3 pregnancies in 3 years takes a toll. He has an ability to raise my confidence, even after a day with my parents, still being told I am getting fat, he makes me feel 100% woman.

I am a mum, I have 2 girls whom I want to grow confident and secure with themselves. I never want them to feel as bad about themselves as I have.

The Sinful Sunday post was a milestone, for the first time ever I have felt secure enough about my body to allow a lover to take a photo of me naked. More than that I have found the courage to post it online. Sharing myself with strangers. The comments from them have been so much more positive than the jibes I grew up with.

So, to all those who have taken a role in building my confidence, Thank you.

Sinful Sunday

Sinful Sunday

My first Sinful sunday entry so please be gentle with me and feel free to leave a comment.

My ritual cleansing

As I wash every last trace of him,

his seed and his smell from my skin.

The tart in me dies,

the mother returns

My ritual is complete

Fear

Do you know what fear is? People talk about the taste of fear but for me it is more than that. It envelopes your entire being, screws all your senses then leaves you cold and numb.

I am lucky I have never been in a life threatening fear situation, not my life anyway. To me fear is sitting on the side of a hospital bed while a surgeon explains that the man you love, the father of your children has 2-5 years, if he is lucky, and then only with aggressive surgery followed by chemo.

Fear is sitting in ICU after that surgery goes wrong, no not really the surgery going wrong - that’s not fair on the doctors. His body reacted badly, basically said 'fuck you whatever you try isn’t going to work'. Sitting there with the machines beeping, watching for the numbers to drop, the monitors to alarm and the staff to come rushing over.

Fear is being told the child you are carrying isn't going to make it. 10 years ago my labour was induced to allow my body to deliver my little boy. All I can remember is being physically sick and the fact that my midwife, who had supported me through to 23 weeks was running the London Marathon. 

I picked the blog title live love learn and laugh very deliberately, the experiences of fear have taught me that life is too short, too precious and easily broken to waste. Life is for living, opportunities are there to be taken. This is my new philosophy and one that I find difficult sometimes. Breaking old habits is tough but leaving the negative behind me is a healthy way for me to move on with my life.

Touche Rose Geranium Massage Oil 50ml

The bottle is a simple clear plastic with a black flip-top lid. It is easy to get the product out in a controlled way without covering everything in oil. The oil itself is a beautiful orange/red colour and has a subtle smell. Not overly perfumed or girly, which is perfect for us as a couple.


For testing purposes I chose to be selfish and treat myself to a pedicure with foot massage. A girl deserves a treat and oh boy this was one. The oil rubs in slowly and allows you to put just the right amount of pressure on the foot without pulling the skin. It absorbs well so would need reapplying for a full back or body massage, but it left my skin feeling soft and silky without a greasy residue.


There is nothing naughty about the packaging so this would make a perfect gift for someone.

The only thing that let it down is the inclusion of peanut oil, which means it is not suitable for nut allergy sufferers.


Overall, I think this is a lovely product which deserves a space in anyone's bathroom.

Good Girls Don't....

So I grew up in an environment where sex was something we didn't really talk about, but we knew there were some rules. They usually started with 'Good girls don't' followed by a phrase that should have been a mystery to us.

Growing older in a stable and very vanilla marriage none of those things were tried, except oral and that was something I decided I didn't actualy like. Moving into a different kind of relationship has opened my eyes and my mind to the possibilities of pleasure. This good girl has now tried some of those forbidden fruits.

Toys now have a major part in our sex life, I have built a collection of them and have my favourites. I started to review them so that other women can also experience the pleasure that good sex can bring.

The biggest taboo that I have tried is anal sex, Good Girls only have sex to have babies so anal was considered too dirty to even speak about. Something that only happened in porn, I now realise that being closed minded about it limits our enjoyment of each other's bodies. Done well it can be mind blowing, but it is something which takes trust and understanding of each other. Questions about anal regularly appear on sex related forums and ignorance isnt bliss it's dangerous.

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A Band of Gold

One of the questions no one ever asks is 'Why I stopped wearing my wedding ring? Or rather why I stopped wearing it so soon after being widowed?

Becoming a widow before I got to 40 had the most unimaginable effect on my life, even though it was expected and we had time to talk about what would happen after he had gone. 

I thought hard about what to do with the ring, a symbol of marriage. Now redundant but not meaningless. Do I continue to wear it? Knowing that at some point in the future I will want to move on and rebuild a new life, maybe with someone new. My decision was to put it away with his. 

I felt naked for a few months, painfully awate that something was missing. Something that had been part of me of 13 years but that feeling eventually gave way to a freedom. I was a single lady again. Depression may have been a long term visitor to my life but move on I did.

I would like to think he would have been proud of me, for building a different life, not just for myself but for our children. I know that with the benefit of hindsight I might have done some things a little differently, but loss has taught me that life it too short and too precious to waste on regrets. Looking backwards doesn't help you to move forwards. And that is the direction I am travelling in.

xGGx

Turn

So what turns a respectable lady into a slightly kinky tart, his word not mine.

I was lonely and very very down, mourning the death of a husband, raising 2 children alone without support from family. A friend suggested internet dating. When I finished laughing at her I realised that she had a point. The web could be used to weed out all the weirdos and the 'not a fucking chance mate' types.

I met someone, slightly younger than me, which caused raised eyebrows and mutterings. Very different to me, a bad boy with a kinky streak like I hadn't encountered before. For the first time in my life sex became something fun, something I wanted rather than something I did because it was expected of me.

I found a soul mate, we  exchanged confessions online, he admitted to having a thing about feet. I had to admit to having a toy box. We exchanged confessions in person. The chemistry between us was there from the first face to face meeting.

Over a few weeks he introduced me to the delights of receiving foot worship. Sounds trivial but I have always hated having my feet touched. Yet here I was not only allowing him to lick and suck my toes but enjoying it. Together we have found a new freedom, he knows he can be honest with me and not face 'that's disgusting' or 'pervert' type reactions and Me? I have found the freedom to enjoy the pleasure of sharing my body, the freedom to talk about sex and the freedom to push my own bounderies.

So what turned me?

Finally finding the man who was up to the task.

Well as the saying goes a little confession is good for the soul..so here is mine.

I love shoes, I collect shoes and as a habit it is starting to get out of hand.
This is what happens when a shoe lover and a foot fetishist live together.

A little confession is good for the soul....

My GO TO RO 140

 The RO bullets come packed in minimalist tubes which are perfect for storage, no bulky excess packaging to get rid of and no wasted space within the package which helps keep the toybox tidy.

 I was curious when I saw these as I have never used a soft tip vibe but already own a RO-80 and RO-120 both of which I love. This bullet looks more like a piece of military hardware than its little relatives with the black tip contrasting with the sleek smooth silver. It looks quite masculine which for me is vital as it is used solo and by my partner on me. Neither of us likes pink and girly toys.

The bullet comes complete with batteries and ready to go, which is a big plus point the downside is it takes 2 N batteries, I would prefer standard AA or AAA as I have a stash of rechargables which I use for toys.
The vibrations on this are amazing, mind blowingly strong and thats just the first 2 speeds didn't get to top speed. It wasn't needed. I don't like very intense and direct clitoral stimulation but even with it working around the clitoral area the strength of the vibrations was intense enough to get me off very quickly.

It was very easy to clean and popped back in its tube til next time. Have a feeling it is going to get a lot of use.
I was right this has become a go to toy for guaranteed results.
If you are looking for something quiet, powerful and sleek then I would recommend this bullet.

Swoon Release

Opened the box really wanting to love it. The wand is smooth white silicone. It feels warm to the touch with a firm but flexible texture.


The wand takes 2 AAA batteries and full marks for these being included. The control is a simple push button on the end of the wand and cycles through the 7 modes, 3 speeds and 4 patterns of vibrations so there will be one to suit most needs and moods. Once turned on the wand is a little noisy at high speed but muffleable by the duvet should discretion be important.


I was a little disappointed with the performance. For me there was not quite enough power in the vibrations. It was enough to take me to the edge but not to take me over it. However that might just be me and maybe someone who prefers less power would love this wand.


The packaging is very retro with no pornstar-type pictures, more reminisant of 40s pin ups. The box also contains a decent quality drawstring storage bag to keep the wand clean and safe.

First Steps . . .

My first steps away from the vanilla, good girl took place in daylight, a secluded car park in the countryside.  Playing with the fear or thrill of being caught. It must have been more the thrill as we both jumped when a very large cow came out of the trees towards the car but carried on.

Hearing cars pass along the road, just the other side of a few trees and knowing that any second one might pull in and discover our secret makes your heart pound a little faster. It adds to the urgency. The racing pulse of desire.

Driving back along familiar roads to do the school run with the dampness to remind me of the stolen moments we had enjoyed.  Trying not to smile too broadly, wouldn't want the school gate brigade asking questions.

I miss those naughty trips, we don't seem to do them any more. Maybe when the weather improves I need to get the picnic rug out.

Doc Johnson Rock Star Vibe - Janis

This came to me as a tester item, thank you Cara.

The Doc Johnson Rock Star Vibe - Janis is very pink and made me think more of pop princess than rock star but you cannot judge a book by it's cover so I have put this through a proper testing.

The silicone shaft is very soft and warm to the touch, it is also quite flexible. Not flexible enough for me to find my G spot though but then I have not yet found a toy that does. The vibrations on this are not the strongest I have felt but are enough to achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation.

On the plus side the shape of the end made it easy to hold on to and move to the right places, even when coated in lube. The speed control is simple to use.

Janis cleaned easily, even the textured silver coloured part and the joins presented no problems.

The packaging is a simple plastic pack which is a little garish but ok for keeping the vibe in safely.

Overall this was an OK vibe. If you prefer less direct stimulation then the shape of this would suit you.

Wow cannot believe I am doing this, me a complete technophobe writing my own blog. This is just another step on the journey through life which ever changing. 18 months ago I was alone, vanilla and lonely. I had bought my first toy but not had the confidence to 'confess' to owning a vibrator.

I grew up in a very straight laced home where sex wasn't talked about, school only cover the biology of procreation and everything else was learnt in the playground. I guess I have always been a slow starter, but I am making up for it now and loving life.

xGGx

Pjur Woman Moisterising Toy Lube

I have used lubes but until now had not found one which would make me a loyal user. Pjur Woman Toy Lube has changed that.

The bottle has an easy to use pump top which gives a measured dose of lube - no squirting the stuff across the bed, the floor or anywhere but where you want it. This goes exactly where you aim.

The lube itself is almost colourless, has no smell and although it is not designed for oral, I have taste tested it. There is no taste so if a session includes oral you wouldn't have to change lubes.


I have sensitive skin so the first test is always a patch test on my wrist. This passed with flying colours - no adverse reaction and it left my skin feeling soft but not greasy.


I have used this with a rabbit and a glass toy and both performed well with it. It didn't need reapplication and cleaning up was easy.

I love the fact it is safe to use with silicone toys, condoms and won't damage latex clothing if things get messy, and lets be honest good sex often gets that way.

Pjur Toy Lube is a nastie-free zone, easy to use, thick, creamy, non-greasy and it works.

Overall I was impressed and would recommend this lube.