A Band of Gold

One of the questions no one ever asks is 'Why I stopped wearing my wedding ring? Or rather why I stopped wearing it so soon after being widowed?

Becoming a widow before I got to 40 had the most unimaginable effect on my life, even though it was expected and we had time to talk about what would happen after he had gone. 

I thought hard about what to do with the ring, a symbol of marriage. Now redundant but not meaningless. Do I continue to wear it? Knowing that at some point in the future I will want to move on and rebuild a new life, maybe with someone new. My decision was to put it away with his. 

I felt naked for a few months, painfully awate that something was missing. Something that had been part of me of 13 years but that feeling eventually gave way to a freedom. I was a single lady again. Depression may have been a long term visitor to my life but move on I did.

I would like to think he would have been proud of me, for building a different life, not just for myself but for our children. I know that with the benefit of hindsight I might have done some things a little differently, but loss has taught me that life it too short and too precious to waste on regrets. Looking backwards doesn't help you to move forwards. And that is the direction I am travelling in.

xGGx