Friday 13 April 2012

A Reflective Birthday Post

Birthdays are usually a time of excitement and joy, of coming together to celebrate; especially true when it is a child’s birthday.
Tomorrow will be my son’s 10th birthday. There will be no balloons, no banners announcing the celebration to the world. No candles sat smoking on a cake. No wrapped gifts waiting to be torn open. More touching there will be no smiles and laughter in the house.
Like 17 women every day in the UK I gave birth to an Angel Baby. My tiny bundle, much loved and long awaited never took a breath. I left the hospital empty and empty handed. Tomorrow I will take his sisters to place roses on his grave. They are too young to understand the pain of loss but their short lives have been touched by it in too many ways. From their brother’s grave they will walk with me to lay the rest of our flowers on their Father’s ‘special place’ – with them I never use the words cemetery or grave.
The one thing I learnt from experience of still birth was how scared people are to talk about death. Children aren’t meant to die and so many people will avoid talking about the subject. I had people cross the road to avoid having to speak to me, the look of horror on faces when the question “What did you have?”  brought the tearful response “ a boy but he didn’t make it”.
If you know the parents of an Angel please don’t be scared, it isn’t catching and tears do not scar. Say hello, ask how they are, above all remember they are normal. Just  going through the toughest of times.

xGGX

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